Jérôme De Falloise: The story of Paying For It had already begun to take shape. We were at the Conservatoire de Liège, working specifically on the polymorphous nature of prostitution. Until the day we met Sonia, which was an eye-opener for all of us. Our perceptions changed. A dream for a group of actors who find that their own assumptions or their ignorance – even though the team had been exploring the theme in books for some time – had prevented them from getting to grips with the subject. Thanks to our meeting with Sonia, our way of working has completely changed. We have conducted many more interviews with sex workers and people from professions that revolve around prostitution: the vice squad, social workers, association activists, punters. It has changed our attitudes, which to that point were conditioned and stigmatising.

Sonia Verstappen: I worked as a window prostitute for 36 years in the Northern Quarter (Brussels). I first became an activist about 25 years ago, after I met Grisélidis Réal, the great Swiss prostitute and writer. Before meeting her, I realised that in the eyes of society I was really not a good person. I didn’t much care, but she always made her feelings known. Grisélidis Réal says: “Prostitution is an art, a humanism, a science.” She helped me to understand that I shouldn’t be ashamed of being a whore. I became an activist because I realised that the word was absent from the debate. People are highly conditioned by Judaeo-Christian values, by Christian morality which has it that the body of the woman is sacred. To make love with strangers without desire and without love is absolutely impossible for society. I wanted to fight against that. I wanted to fight against the stigma. Because a woman who prostitutes herself is always scorned, even after she stops. She is branded with a hot iron. She has done no wrong to anyone, but society has to put her on the list of offenders because she lays that society bare. She shatters the belief that it is only in marriage and in love (true love) that we can find happiness. This view overlooks the fact that there are many women who do not need love or desire to have sex. It overlooks the fact that there are men (and I know that it’s now politically incorrect to defend men but too bad, because after 36 years in my line of work, I had almost 10 per day, so I know what I’m talking about) who come to us and to whom we render a great service. They are not brutes at all; they are often very kind. Virginie Despentes says in her book King Kong Théorie: “Prostitution has taught me to have tenderness for men, because men are never so kind as when they are with a whore.” Because they are paying for a service. Going to a whore for a man is like going to a shrink. It’s a space for words. We are social workers with added sperm.

For many men, sex is often only a pretext for having a relationship, which is clearly enabled by money. And it’s a relationship where they can truly be themselves. As Lacan said: “Money frees us from the yoke of recognition.” So men know they will not be judged by a whore. They know that we will take them as they are: ugly, brutish, unable to get it up... it does not matter. We take them.

Going to a whore is a space of freedom for men. Women have a role in society they have to uphold, and which just does not suit them: housewife, the woman who is perfect in every way. But men are also often encumbered by their social role. I often speak in schools or universities, and when young women ask me “what can you tell us about our men?”, I answer: “your men are fragile. When they come to me, they are macho. But when they sit in my chair in the back, they are 3 years old.”

Jérôme De Falloise: The Théâtre National is located near the Alhambra Quarter, traditionally a red-light district in Brussels. This location lies at the origin of the show, in any case it is one of its origins. The Alhambra Quarter lies right between the KVS and the Théâtre National. The members of Collectif La Brute that are behind this work (Raven Ruell, Wim Lots, Anne-Sophie Sterck, Nicolas Marty and Catherine Hance) work a lot at these institutions. We cannot pretend that we do not see the sex workers there. In the evening, on Rue de Laeken, another city begins to appear. Every evening, theatregoers perhaps have to pick up their pace if they do not wish to see it. We walk past these women before each show, but we do not want to see them. When we perform, prostitutes work on the other side of the wall of the very theatre in which we perform. And we thought it would be a good idea to break through this wall and give these prostitutes a voice, or represent them, here, in this very same neighbourhood. We would also – although this is still in the works – like to try to make these people exist during the performance. We are in contact with local associations, trying to bring this project to life. But there is a risk for us: that these people do not want the veil to be lifted on their profession because they operate in a legal grey area. And so to return to the idea of activism: campaigning for prostitutes to have rights is also to campaign for prostitutes who have not chosen this profession to also be protected.

Sonia Verstappen: And it’s about providing more resources to people who want to leave the profession because unfortunately, when you want to leave, the stigma remains. It really is a badge of dishonour for some. We do not feel included by society. And that is why many prostitutes are marginalised.

Interviewed by Sophie Dupavé
On May 23, 2019